I am back with not one, but two book reviews. I did not finish these books. I also did not read more than 10 % of them. I will go into why down below, but I know that some of you do not believe that you can give a legit review of something that was not finished. I wanted to let you know that if you are one of those people, you may stop reading now and I will see you next week for a book that I did finish! (Actually, we have a series next week! Spoiler, it’s a good one) Alright, now onto the review.
Beautifully Damaged by L.A. Flore
Description: “Shy” girl meets boy. She instantly falls in love and must protect him from his past. (This is what I came to realize after reading some of it.)
First of all, what, in the hell, was this author thinking publishing and unfinished story. Yes, I only got 10 % of the way in, but you have got to be joking! The characters have absolutely no personality. That with the grammar…I just do not know what she was thinking. I noticed some other reviews talked about her spelling, but I did not see many errors of that form, but maybe I did not get far enough for that.
Oh, I have the perfect example of this book! At least grammar and the story line I see coming. It is a weak version of 50 Shades of Grey. Which, in my opinion, is hard to beat seeing as that book needs all kinds of help in its own right. Regardless, you get the picture. Here is an excellent example of what you can expect to find. This is written as one paragraph.
“I pulled my eyes from the avenging angel before me and looked into the terror-filled gaze of my unwanted suitor as my fear was rapidly replaced with anger.”
First, just a quick review of when to change paragraphs.
- When a new character comes along
- A new event happens
- A new idea is introduced
- The setting changes
- A new person is speaking
- Time moves forward or backward by a lot
- The “camera” moves
- When you want to focus heavily on something
Not sure about what you think, but I do believe that none of those fits this “paragraph.”
Second, did anyone else notice that she smashed three sentences into one? In my opinion, it should have read something like this:
“I pulled my eyes from my avenging angel. I looked into the terror-filled gaze of my unwanted suitor. With the hulking man behind me, my fear was rapidly replaced with anger.”
Boom! A legit paragraph. You’re welcome, L.A. Flore. Feel free to use my edited version for your next story.
Next thing I would like to touch on, personality and telling instead of showing. Any of you that have been around since the new year (or have read back that far) know that telling instead of showing is something I am really working on this year. It is a mistake I made in every book I have written thus far. Anyway, I recently read that when you focus on something so much you start to recognize it around you more often. Well, I am not sure if that is why I noticed that the author was happy to tell you how tough and utterly tomboyish Ember (main chick) is only to have her have no spine when it comes to people around her.
Seriously, it was like, “Allow me to tell you how daddy raised me to be a tough girl. That is until some drunk guy grabs my arm. Now I am suddenly unable to help myself. Wait, now that the hot womanizer is around me I can do anything a guy can do.” I mean, come on! No one is like that. The main guy’s personality is not much better. “Let me tell you how rich and successful I am. I also can have any girl I want, and I totally use that to my advantage! Wait, but big shock (that is so not a cliche, shut up 50 Shades!) I am damaged, and only this girl with no personality can save me!”
Overall, this book has poor grammar, horrible “characters,” and cliches. Keep in mind, that is only the first 10 % of the book.
The Atlantis Gene by A.G Riddle
Description: A metric F-ton of stuff happens at once, and you have to remember all of it or get lost.
As yo0u can probably assume by the description I gave it, I got sick of having to go back and try to figure out a) who was talking b) where we were c) what in the hell was going on. I honestly believe that it has a good basic idea, but poorly executed. The grammar was decent. It was more all of the jumping around that the author did that caused me to stop reading.
I read only the first 10 % (according to Kindle). However, I think if you counted a number of times I went back and forth it would be more like I read 60%. Several other people said it reads like a wannabe action movie script and I would have to agree. The scenes jump from place to place. The chapters end abruptly, and then the next chapter jumps you to entirely different characters. By the time you are shoved back to the previous people, you have no idea because it picks up in a completely different place.
Overall, books are not movies, too many people, not enough plot management.
I promise next week will be a positive review. Be free and keep reading!