Writing prompt

Writing Prompt!

Hello, Everyone!

As promised, here is the first writing prompt. Writing this legit made me cry. As I stated earlier, this is not edited.

“Write about your worst nightmare coming to life.”  Be aware that this story is copy righted, use of it is ILLEGAL. I own this story.

 

The Loss

Worst Nightmare- His Death

Although I don’t feel like I am, I am conscience. A glance at a clock, the hands tick, ticking, proves it. The quiet murmurs around me are white noise. A large lady keeps coming up to me. She grasps me uncomfortably each time. I scream in my mind. I beg for her to stop touching me. But I don’t speak.

I can’t speak. Instead, I sit and act as if I am listening to the assurances spilling from those around me. I have an angered or sarcastic retort for every person I see. But the words never leave my mind. I react to no one. God, what would I give for silence;  to alone and leave the world behind.

“Aww, sweetheart I’m so sorry.” his Mother says to me as she wants to gain assaults me with her chunky arms.

My skin crawls at her touch. I smirk, but say nothing. She can work the room all she wants. I do not need the condolences. I need my husband. But I can’t have that. I will never have his calm, steady embrace again.

I glance at the casket once more.

I’m the only one that knows what really happened. I followed his wishes to the T, but I felt empty and alone.

 

My dearest sweetie pie,
     I know I said I would not let it come to this, but I can’t be the reason you cry yourself to sleep. I left the letters and the voice recordings on my computer for you. I’m sorry that I ever allowed our love to be this strong. I knew I didn’t deserve it, but I took what you offered anyway.
     I did love you. Assuming that my “soul” Survives, I still love you now. I do have one favor to ask. Though I know that I don’t deserve to ask, I will anyway.
     Letters on my computer are not just for you. I left one for each of my family members. If you could get them all together and give them the note I wrote, I would appreciate it. On my thing, please don’t tell them how I died. Please lie, why must time please buy for me. I left it out of my letters, but I do have an excuse. Tell them I was having heart problems and died from heart attack, lookup “Coronary artery disease”  as preparation to answer the questions. I would prefer if you were the only one to know what that I took my own life.
     I am sorry it had to end this way. I was nothing you could have done to stop me. I had a wonderful 10 years with you.

All my love, Tim

 

He was kind enough to make sure that I wasn’t the one that found him. He was on his way home from the grocery store when he had a “ heart attack”. The car accident was real as was the heart attack. The trick was that he’s somehow managed to induce one.

My husband, the only man I’ve ever loved, killed himself.

So here I sit. I am alone. It doesn’t matter that I’m surrounded by sixty of our closest friends and family. Who cares that I am with my husband’s mom’s uncomfortable hugs, people saying “ sorry”, and the most annoying “he is in a better place”.

Tim didn’t believe in God. I didn’t either, though no one knew our position. We had long ago changed our minds on religion and religious matters. Our family was heavily into there being a God and afterlife. So to keep the peace we didn’t tell them how we felt.  

After the eighteenth hug from my mother-in-law, I left. I went into my room and changed my black fitted dress for jeans and a button-up shirt. The shirt was a dull dark gray. It had been Tim’s. I slipped my sock covered feet into my boots and jumped out the bedroom window.

The colors around me word vibrant. That was why Tim and I picked this massive property. We love the outdoors. Today it seemed all wrong. How could the world keep going without Tim’s laughter? How could I keep going without his gentle push in the right direction?

I saunter to our… my small barn. My fingers brush down in Tim’s tall, dark horse’s his nose.

“Hi, Baby Girl,” I whispered. “You know he’s gone, don’t cha?”

Baby girl pushes her massive, black head into me. It was her way of agreeing with me. She understands my pain. Baby Girl knew him as well as I do…did

“Let’s get out of here.”

This time I stumbled back a few steps from her shove.

My boots click clack along with Baby Girl’s steps as I take her out. Getting tacked up was all muscle memory. I walk her out of the barn, tighten my saddle, and left. Voice called my name in the distance, but I ignore it. They don’t need me, and I don’t want them.

Baby Girl and I walk for a while. I am emotionally driven, but I retain enough sanity to know that taking off at crazy speeds could hurt the horse. My hips rock with her steps, and then we go a little faster. I stand and sit in my saddle following along with her movement until I know we can go faster. Then like a bullet we take off.

Baby Girl was fast. The wind pushed against us. It was freeing. The whooshing keeps the voices in my head quiet for a time. We do not slow until we are slick with sweat.

This last week was my nightmare. The only man I’ve ever loved was gone. But I had friends and family I could lean on, it wasn’t the same.

My husband was gone, and I was alone. Sure he wanted me to find someone else, though I never would. There never was anyone else out there for me. He was it, and now he is gone,  permanently.

 

Be free and keep reading!

Ta, ta.

At any time if you think, “Hey, Astrid, you should do a post on [fill in the blank].” Send me an email to penname.books@gmail.com or comment below.
Are you an author? Do you want me to read your book? Send business inquiries to penname.books@gmail.com. Let me know my blog sent you 🙂
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