Happy New Year! I promise next week is not going to be erotica or romance. If you are interested in what I am currently reading (and want a heads up for what review is coming) I post my current read every week on my Instagram. Also, keep in mind, I try to talk about the story as a whole, grammar, and spelling when I review any books.
Anyway, onto the review.
Fifty Shades of Grey:
Astrid’s Description: Ana is shy, then stubborn, then self-assured, and then lacking confidence, oh and we can’t forget fear. And like her main personality traits, she goes back and forth in making up her mind. Christian is always mad.
Okay, so first I would like to touch on vocabulary. Now I had the audio book for this and could not look up the numbers myself, so I found someone else that did. The reviewer goes through more, but here are the ones that I noticed and had written down:
“oh my” – 72
“blushes”, “flush”, “scarlet“, and “crimson” – 125
“whisper” – 195
“peeks up” – 13
Alright the last vocab thing I would like to touch on. The thing I noticed with “scarlet” (13) and “crimson” (6) is that she was usually, if not always, describing herself. Look you can assume that when your cheeks heat that you are blushing, but you don’t know if they are red or not. It bothers me when any author uses something like. “My cheeks turn red at his lascivious comment.”
I have said it before and I will say it again, if you use the same word or phrase repeatedly, it loses its meaning. That is especially true when the word is meant to be a shock of some kind. That means all the “oh my”, “gasp”, “oh crap” are worthless by the end (if not three chapters in) of the book.
As I stated earlier, I usually don’t touch on the sex part of these books, but you know I do have two things to say. First off, using regular body wash on your lady bits can be bad. You should only be using soap meant for that part of your body. That is not really sex related but this last one is. A blow job in a full bath is not very functional or smart. That is especially true when you make no mention of the charter getting out of the “high” water. Also, what kind of girl has “no sex experience” knows how to give a “perfect” blow job the very first time? Her internal thoughts are even like “should I do x? I am nervous and don’t know.” Just throwing that out there too.
What I will give E.L. credit for is having a decent base. Personally I think the bones of the story isn’t too bad. It just needs a few more edits and re-writes. Obviously, that isn’t going to happen, but I wish it had. Maybe E.L. James didn’t listen to her editor? I don’t know. But I kept reading, just for all of you.
Fifty Shades Darker
Astrid’s Description: Emotionally torn down, Ana goes back to the cause of it. Although, to be fair, she did ask for what ended up hurting her in the first place. But at least it isn’t ALL about the sex, there is a decent surrounding story.
The vocabulary hasn’t changed, and it seems like Christian never has to work. Will someone please tell me how to get his job! I would love to answer emails and tell people to just do stuff without leaving my bed. Also, (prep for sarcasm) can their relationship move any faster?
Fifty Shades Freed
Astrid’s Description: After two books trying to teach Christian how to not be mad and to get Ana to using her F-ing words, something is going to challenge all of that. Oh yes, and we, of course, have to move into complete predictability and rely on my least favorite “I don’t know what to do” move when it comes to story telling.
There is this one thing that authors tend to do and almost every time it screams “I am running out of ideas!” This thing, drives me insane. I will give credit for there being a decent character arc. However, as with the first two books, it seems as if she A) ignored her editor, B) didn’t hire an editor, or C) had an editor that wasn’t very good.
But, I am pushing on to the new books, because I legit want to know if after all these years, if there is any improvement in her writing.
Astrid’s Description: Well, now we know that Christian really is mad all the damn time. And we kind of know why. But let’s be honest, how many times does he say or think that he should spank Ana? I swear it is like every page.
Writing has kind of improved. But really you are reading the same book as book one and hearing Christian’s internal thoughts instead of Ana’s. I wish the E.L. had added more new scenes and glossed over some of the old ones a bit more. That being said, you do understand Christian a little better.
Astrid’s Description: Hey! He is learning! I think… Wow buddy! #NotRelationshipGoals because y’all suck at communication.
Look, I am going to be completely honest. I have only read these books out of curiosity because so many people seemed to enjoy it. Then I was curious what Christian’s perspective was because I was genuinely curious what he thinks during all of this. I will say that E.L.’s writing has improved. And while I understand this is Christian’s perspective of everything, you are basically reading Fifty Shades Darker again with very little insight. It was a bit disappointing.
That is all for today.
Be free and keep reading!